i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
