I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
