I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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