I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
birth control should be required to get into college
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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