She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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