My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
