had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize