Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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