I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
