You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize