i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
40s are totally the cure
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
