We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
