And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
