I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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