I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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