But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
