Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
