i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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