Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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