I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
