Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
they need to just BURY HIM!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
