how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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