the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
