I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
