So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
