I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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