That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
