Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
