Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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