we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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