mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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