I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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