Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
