I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
