Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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