so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
