Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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