just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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