My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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