Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize