But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
