so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
