There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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