alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
