I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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