i think my tv is drunk
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
