so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
