did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
As shirtless as possible
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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