Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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