I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
