I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
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