Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
