my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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