I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
