it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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