Whod you bang
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
